Stop Staring
stare [ster]
v
1. look fixedly: to look directly at somebody or something for a long time without moving the eyes away, usually as a result of curiosity or surprise, or to express rudeness or defiance
2. to look wide open with shock, fear, or amazement (refers to eyes)
3. be obvious: to be obvious or blatant
The answer was staring at you all the time; you just couldn't see it.
Just don't understand why people must stare. I can understand a look, a concern, even a little curiosity when it comes to seeing a person with differences, but a rude stare is just too much.
Grace had one of these days not too long ago. While waiting at the DMV a young man was walking with his baby girl to keep her entertained/happy. He must have walked by us 5 or 6 times. Each time he stared at Grace. It wasn't a discrete look but a rude, obvious stare. It took all I had in me to not yell at him to stop. I just wanted to explain that Grace could just as easily be his little girl in a wheelchair, honestly nobody knows what is in their children's future. At that stage there was no clue that Grace would have so many medical issues to endure.
After leaving the DMV we decided to go to lunch. As Grace was rolling down the sidewalk a woman drove by and stared at Grace, she almost ran the stop sign at the corner she was so taken by her.
This infuriated my daughter who started to yell something unpleasant to the woman. I told her to stop and then had an unhappy teen with me.
Once we were in the restaurant a little boy about 10 stared at Grace, he even turned his chair a little as we went by him so he could get a better look.
This was it for Grace, she shut down and didn't want lunch. Trying to be empathetic I finally leaned over and whispered that some days too much staring is just too much. That's all it took, my tougher than nails girl broke down. We went to the restroom to wash her face and help her calm down as my husband got our meals boxed up and paid for them. Grace had just had too much and she was mad at me for not letting her yell at the woman in the car.
Now I know each of those people weren't trying to hurt Grace's feelings, and I understand that you don't see many young people in a wheelchair, especially in a small city without medical facilities that cater to special cases, but honestly stop staring! Teach your children to be polite and smile at someone they see differently.She's an intelligent young woman, she wants to be treated as everyone else. Not started at, she's not a sideshow. If curious then ask her why she's in a chair, ask what her trach tube is, she'll explain it and you'll be blessed by seeing how much fun and helpful she actually is. I would probably be too weak to leave the house as much as she does. Normally nothing holds her back, she goes where ever she wants and bravely gets right in the middle of everything. We raised her to see that she's just like everyone else, she just happens to use a chair. But she's not 8 any more and those ideals are hard for her to accept now.
She had her day of anger and a little 'why me' pity party once we got home.
The next day we had to finish some shopping that we didn't do on the previous "stare day". Grace decided if people wanted to look at her then she'd give them something to look at; She wanted a faux hawk. Not just any fauxhawk, but one with wild spikes and bangs. I did what I could as I'm not a a hairdresser and have no patience for it. She loved it and herself again. My tough girl was back again, and looked the part. And in case you wonder yes she got stared at, it bothered her and she told someone to stop, but I reminded her she did have fabulous hair to stare at.
