Imma Girl

 How would you describe yourself to someone that had never seen you? Probably your gender, hair color, age, body type? What do you first notice about a person when you see them?
Grace recently went to a birthday party of her friend Anna. She hadn't been to any functions there or met her family before. As Anna was introducing Grace to her grandmother, the grandma said something close to " Oh I've met your friend before." This was a surprise to both Anna and Grace. Then Anna figured it out, "Grandma, was it a boy.?"  Yes it was a boy her grandma had been thinking of, Anna has another friend that uses a wheelchair that had actually met her Grandmother before. Poor Grace all she could say was '"I'm a girl." It was an awkward moment, Grandma felt silly gave Grace a hug and we've all had a good laugh about it since. We've decided that Anna ruined the perfect opportunity to tell Grandma that her friend had a quick sex change and was now Grace. ( I think grandma and Grace will probably become fast friends after this meeting ).
Anyway, I've been wondering how often we see people in a different light than who they actually are. We're no different than Anna's grandma. Obviously when you see a person with a wheelchair or crutches, any medical equipment, you notice it because it's not our "norm". 
But, how often is that all we see? Grace usually has a rather unique style that surprises people, they don't expect a girl ( or is it a boy? sorry Grace I couldn't resist) in a wheelchair,to dress like such a rocker, or have wildly colored hair. Don't know why being in a chair should determine your style or your personality for that matter. Think about it, you either expect a "sweet, gee the world is great, I'm so thankful for my wheelchair"  attitude. Or a " just back from the war, I'm now bitter about being in a wheelchair" attitude. Honestly, wheelchair users are just like everyone else; good, bad, sweet, mean. 
Next time you see a person with a difference, do your best to look past the difference. There's more to the person sitting in that chair than you know. 
(P.S. Happy Birthday Anna, I can't wait to meet your Grandma)

Pain is a Pain

Pain

Pain, I know it exists for a reason, just wish it were easier to control. Grace has chronic, constant pain. She has for a few years. Her doctor is determined to figure out the cause and wants to cure the problem. That's exactly what Grace wants, but in the long time it's taking to figure out the mystery she's still in pain. Some days are worse than others, some days she stays in bed. Pain is frustrating.

One of the biggest problems with pain is controlling it, narcotics are really the only thing that seems to dull the pain enough for Grace to function on her worse days. Of course we all know the dangers of prolonged narcotic usage. Again, frustrating.

Another aspect to pain is the lie. The lie the person in pain has to live. They still have work, school, walking to the mailbox, just getting up out of bed. They have to paint on a smile and go about their business as if they're perfectly fine. Now I know no one actually wants to tell the world " Hey!! Today is a crap day!!" but it also has to be hard to pretend that everything is just fine. Most people would never guess that Grace is in pain, when she has mentioned to some people that she's hurting they've said she should go to a doctor. Really? That's a genuine idea, she's never considered. She's been going for at least three years complaining to them about her pain, she's had to wait months for bone scans that didn't show the doctor the area that she wanted to see. She's also waited six months to get into some doctor's offices. And waited to find out she's been refused an appointment with a pain specialist. It's not as if the doctor is just going to know what the problem is and have a quick fix. Pain is frustrating.

None of us know when another is hurting. We need to cut other some slack. There aren't always answers, but possibly a smile could make a painful day better.